Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Do You Have Woo? (part 2)

"that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it." -1 Corinthians 12:25-26

"For I have no one like-minded, who will sincerely care for your state." -Phil 2:20

Hello Friends,

In my last note titled "What We Can Learn From A Dog," I described the significance of being interested in others and how to be interested in others. I also promised in that note that I would give you a part two to the concept. In writing this particular note, I wanted to address what the characteristics of an interested person are in regards to when they interact with others, but I couldn't find the right word to describe these characteristics as a whole. After a little nugget of inspiration entered my mind from a John C. Maxwell book, I found a rather amusing name for the qualities needed to be truly interested in somebody, the ability to W.O.O. ( Win Others Over)

Woo is basically charisma, but with the premise of serving others. Charisma without the premise of serving others can be very damaging towards others if it is used for manipulative purposes. Just think of one of the most sinister figures of the 20th century, Adolf Hitler. Hitler had remarkable charisma; he could convince thousands of people at a time that he had the best interests of his countrymen at heart when he said Jews and all other non-Arian peoples (non-German) should be exterminated. He was obviously not truly interested in others' best interests; he only acted interested so he could convince people to his way of thinking. Let the Holocaust be a bone-chilling reminder of what the wrong charisma can do.

In contrast, Theodore Roosevelt had a legendary amount of the good Woo, the kind that wants to serve others and help them. His ability to make others feel like a million bucks is one of the reasons why he is such a beloved president even today. Roosevelt was interested in everybody; it didn't matter if you were the king of England or a simple servant. He would let you know that he honestly and sincerely cared about your life. The following are two different examples of Roosevelt's amazing Woo skills. One of the examples are from his valet, James E. Amos, and the other is a story retold by Dale Carnegie:

---from "Theodore Roosevelt, Hero to His Valet---
by James E. Amos

"My wife one time asked the President about a bobwhite. She had never seen one and he described it to her fully. Sometime later, the telephone at our cottage rang. {Amos and his wife lived in a little cottage on the Roosevelt estate at Oyster Bay} My wife answered it and it was Mr. Roosevelt himself. He had called her, he said, to tell her that there was a bobwhite outside her window and that if she would look out she might see it. Little things like that were so characteristic of him. Whenever he went by our cottage, even though we were out of sight, we would hear him call out: 'Oo-oo-oo, Anne?' or 'Oo-oo-oo, James!' It was just a friendly greeting as he went by."

Wouldn't love to hang around a man like that? ...even love working for him? (think about how a dog greets us, like I said in the first note)

---Story of Roosevelt at the White House---
by Dale Carnegie

"Roosevelt called at the White House one day when President Taft and Mrs. Taft were away. His honest liking for humble people was shown by the fact that he greeted all the old White House servants by name, even the scullery maids. 'When he saw Alice, the kitchen maid,' writes Archie Butt, 'he asked her if she still made corn bread. Alice told him that she sometimes made it for the servants, but no one ate it upstairs. 'They show bad taste,' Roosevelt boomed, 'and I'll tell the President so when I see him.' 'Alice brought a piece to him on a plate, and he went over to the office eating it as he went and greeting gardeners and laborers as he passed... 'He addressed each person just as he had addressed them in the past,' Ike Hoover, who had been head usher at the White House for forty years, said with tears in his eyes: 'It is the only happy day we had in nearly two years, and not one of us would exchange it for a hundred-dollar bill."

Theodore Roosevelt cared for others, and he visibly showed it with his actions towards the people in his life. He led America into the 20th century with his endeavors in making it's economy and military a world power, but perhaps his greatest human achievement was his heart for other people: He was interested in others, he loved others, he had great... Woo.

With all this said, do you have Woo?:

1. Are you sincerely and honestly interested in others?

True Woo must be sincerely and honestly interested in others. You may be able to pull off looking like you're interested in somebody for a little while, but it won't last long. People naturally have a sixth sense to be able to detect phony Woo. My advise to you: If you can't mean it, then check your heart before God so that you can. You are not doing the other person or yourself any favors if you do otherwise.

2. Do you smile at others?

A smile says "You make me happy. I like being around you." I cannot stress to you how important this is to do. There's a saying that goes, "Smile... and the world smiles with you. Frown... and ...well, you know what happens." A small vat of honey will catch a whole lot more flies than a barrel of vinegar. So smile people! :)

3. Do you give people your time?

My dad told me a story once about a incident that happened at his work. He was on the factory floor, when a man happened to call over to my dad saying, "Hi Steve, how are you doing?" My dad, seeing an opportunity for a friendly chat, walked over to the man. But just before he could reach him, the man went up and left. Oh yeah, he was REALLY interested in how he was doing. In my own life, I find same situation happening in a similar way. I'll be walking down the hall, approaching a group of people having a conversation. When I arrive at where the group is at, I greet one of the people on the outside of the conversation looking in, and they turn to me and give me a quick "Sup." However, instead of waiting for my answer, they quickly turn their heads over to the other conversation going on, and completely ignore me. I don't think they were truly interested in how I was doing either. One of the biggest gifts we can give people is our time. When we give people the time of day to speak, it means so much to them.

4. Do you listen with your heart?

On the note of giving people our time, we can't just simply listen to others with our ears, we have to listen with our hearts. What this means is that we tune out ourselves and listen to what somebody is truly saying; we listen to not just the words, but the tone of voice and what the words mean. Also, listening with our heart means that we listen with our eyes by having them looking straight at the person's face. I can definitely tell when somebody's truly listening or not by whether their eyes are on my eyes... or on something else.

5. Do you encourage others to talk about themselves?

The quickest way to become an excellent conversationalist is by taking to heart the following quote by Dale Carnegie:

"So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments."

Everybody secretly loves to talk about themselves, their lives, their accomplishments, their problems, and they want people to ask them about it. However, they don't want to just tell you, they first want to know that you're interested in knowing what's going on with them before they tell you.

I remain,

Your friend,

Aaron Morrison

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